Because Don Zimmer Wasn't Available

I said that it couldn't get more painful for me than Buck and McCarver. (Other than a doomsday scenario of Berman and McCarver.) Fox decided to up the ante by having Sweet Lou Piniella join the Buck-McCarver booth last night.

Besides being a bit of a mush-mouth, which is always a fun condition for an announcer to have, Piniella said nothing of substance. It was like sitting next to a guy at the game who tells you obvious or unsupported things as if he is imparting "insider" information ("This is a bunting situation . . . He'll probably waste a pitch here . . . Bud Black looks like he would be a good manager [why, Lou, because of the part in his hair? the crease in his pants? why, why, why?] . . .). (I know this because I am often that guy at the game saying the inane stuff. But only one or two people have to listen to me, rather than the millions who are subjected to Piniella.) He is Bret Boone from 2003 -- the "baseball guy" who adds nothing to the booth and actually manages to make you appreciate McCarver a little more. He sounds like he has been on cruise control for years, which is what can happen to you when you manage in Tampa Bay, I guess.

(The one possible benefit -- and it's a long shot -- to having Piniella in the announcing booth is the chance that he will lose his mind at some point and start screaming at Buck and McCarver like they were umpires who just called a balk on Lou's pitcher. Fox could turn this to its advantage by having Hugh ("House") Laurie limp into the booth and administer a sedative to Piniella while McCarver said "Amazing!" and Buck said, "Only here on Fox, folks.")