Desert Island: The Vast Wasteland

"Never mind what people are like, what do they like?"


Hall of Fame


Arrested Development -- The best sitcom ever. (Yeah, I said it.) The acting is sensational, from top to bottom – there really is not a weak link in the cast, from Jessica Walter and Jeffrey Tambor to little Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat. (Jeffrey Tambor deserves his own post -- hell, he deserves his own mountain -- for portraying Hank "Hey Now" Kingsley on The Larry Sanders Show and George Bluth here.) I start giggling just thinking about AD. The direction, the writing, Opie's narration. So far, the third season has been the weakest, and it is still the best thing on television. As the man says, if loving this show is wrong, I don’t want to be right.


Deadwood -- Shakespeare in the West. I'm not a big fan of Timothy Olyphant's Gary Cooper impersonation, but the women, mostly forced to be wives or prostitutes, are amazing (especially Paula Malcomson as Trixie and Kim Dickens as Joannie Stubbs). Ian McShane deserves all of the accolades that he receives as Al Swearengen -- he is the heart and soul of the show as a man with a damaged heart and soul. The use of music (from Jelly Roll Morton to June Carter Cash to Mississippi John Hurt) is outstanding. And the writing . . . well, David Milch works out his demons for all of us to see, and I'm sure as hell richer for it. It’s high art.



All Star


Curb Your Enthusiasm -- A little too smug sometimes, but Larry David’s creation is like nothing else on TV. "The Survivor" episode from Season 2 will always be a classic. From Gina Gershon slurring, "Shlomo is in shul, Larry," to the argument between the Holocaust survivor and Colby from "Survivor" about who had the tougher time, it was perfection in 22 minutes.


Extras -- I have seen three episodes and it is already in the pantheon because of Kate Winslet's performance in the premiere as the star who works in a Holocaust film in an effort to win an Oscar (she may take on the role of a "mental" to take another stab at a statuette, she says). In between takes, she explains to one of the extras the best way to talk dirty on the phone (it involves cleaning out the basement and polishing an Oscar). Is there anything that Ricky Gervais can't do?


Lost -- At its best when it is funny and scary. I don't think that the creators have a coherent view of what it all means -- I believe it when Entertainment Weekly reports that they are making it up as they go along. But the acting is solid, the colors are vibrant, and use of backstory to deepen our appreciation of the characters is innovative and tremendous fun.

The Office -- Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not the British original, which was one of the most extraordinary things ever shown on television. But during this season, it has reached its own level of quiet brilliance. The episode about the Office Olympics illustrated all of the show's strengths -- laugh-out-loud moments of silliness, pitch-perfect glimpses of the richness of the humans dulled in an office park, and moments of grace (Michael receiving a "gold medal," his eyes glistening with tears, not understanding but touched by it all the same). Don't be afraid of it.


Scrubs -- I want to drop this, to let it go, but even with its missteps (Heather Graham, bless her, err, heart, was out of her depth), it has a sublime luminance that make me happy. Not a classic? Maybe. Nevertheless, it's quirky and different and manages to combine silliness and pathos in a way that is almost unheard of for a popular American sitcom. Whenever Zack Braff's mannerisms start to grate, John C. McGinley or Neil Flynn come roaring to the rescue. And who knew that out of the whole cast of Roseanne, it would be one of the Beckys who would make it big. Oh, and The Todd rules, of course.


The Sopranos -- The gaps in between seasons makes me forget sometimes how brilliant and startling it was when it came on the scene. Gandolfini and Falco’s scenes together are remarkable. I sometimes find myself gasping at their intensity.


Veronica Mars – Joss Wheedon is right (as he usually is, despite his Serenity misstep). The first season was a slice of perfection -- a perfectly contained little world full of surprises and emotional resonance. It deserves to take the audience from one of the shows where they walk around analyzing hair fibers.



Overrated by the Fans, but Solid Middle-of-the-Rotation Guy (and we do mean "Guy")


Entourage -- Other than Ari, is there any reason to watch this? Probably not (unless they develop Debi Mazur's character, as Dana Stevens suggests). But, as pointed out by Bill Simmons, the second-to-last episode of last season (when Ari's career goes up in flames) featured some fantastic acting by Jeremy Pivan. I won't soon forget him thinking, eyes closed in his office, and then leaping up from his sofa, collar askew, to begin his ill-fated coup attempt. (Now, about that hair, Jeremy . . .)


Fun Guys to Have in the Clubhouse


Grey's Anatomy -- Cheesy music, ER-like medical drama, inconsistent acting. Yeah, I know. I'm not all in, but I'm calling the ante. In spite of Patrick Dempsey.



The OC -- No excuses. The Cohen household is a gas. And Rachel Bilson gets funnier and funnier. She'll outlast Mischa in Hollywood, if not on Page Six.







Old Players Falling Apart Fast


Alias -- Oh dear. The curse of Affleck. A former guilty pleasure, its fastball seems long gone.








Nip/Tuck -- A high-wire act from the beginning, this season seems . . . boring. Which is amazing for a show featuring post-op transsexual sex, a regular threesome, lots of plastic surgeon-on-young-woman action, and a family where the biological dad is the best friend of the dad . . . I'm even bored typing all of this . . . .