Joe Buck: The Anti-Larry David

I have a free one-year "subscription" to The Sporting News but haven't read it in weeks. Now I remember why. The indispensable Deadspin points me toward Joe Buck's latest column in TSN. In the course of beginning his piece about how hard it is for him to put up with questions from fans while he travels, he throws out this little bon mot:

"I am sure the same thing will happen to me in about 2009 when I finally chuckle at one of Larry David's lines from that unwatchable HBO series -- I think I am the only person in this hemisphere who finds nothing on that show even remotely entertaining."

No, Joe, you're not the only person who feels that way. Many people -- even in this hemisphere -- feel that way. Comedy is subjective -- the vast majority of people in this vast country don't watch Larry David's show. Me, I love "Arrested Development" and "Extras" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Maybe you find "According to Jim" the best showcase for wackiness on the airwaves.

Later in the column, Buck tosses out some of the few questions that he doesn't mind receiving from fans:

"Hey, what's your name? What game you gonna cover? Where you off to next week? And those are just from my wife.”

Remember how I said comedy was subjective, Joe? Well, that's usually true. But in your case, I can say with all objectivity that you are not funny. The master of the preening, supercilious, holier-than-thou announcing style? Absolutely. But someone who knows funny? Nyet. No matter what Timmy McCarver tells you.

Buck ends the column by writing the following three paragraphs:

"Time to stop typing. We're about to land, and the flight attendant just gave me that look.

By the way, how is it possible that by leaving my iPod on I pose a threat to the safety of the plane?

Hard to . . . wait a minute . . . where . . . I thought this was the . . . this isn't Chicago?! Sorry, that was so Larry David of me."

No, actually, you're confusing a bad Catskills comic with Larry David. You see, I can understand why people don't like David -- it's no sin. But liking you? To paraphrase a comic you might appreciate, "Take Joe Buck. Please."